remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
