is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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