Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
