five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm at about main and main street
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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