Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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