So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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