SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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