Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
