Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
