i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
