There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
