This dress was meant to end up on your floor
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
