You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
