if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
