i jhust puked up my retainher.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
