She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
