She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
