I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize