I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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