I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
