i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
