Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
