I heard we made out
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
