Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize