marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
