Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
