Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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