Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
