Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
this is an emotional support booty call
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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