its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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