so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Can I color on your dick again?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
