I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize