i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
