Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
