At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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