So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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