So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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