How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
