do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
