Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
