We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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