FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
pray to the hookup gods
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
