The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize