oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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