K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
