After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I've blown a few things in my day
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
