i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
