What a fucking waste of an outfit
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
