Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
