Me. At least after what I've been through.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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