I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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