so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
