Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
