I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize