You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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