I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
