I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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