Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
