I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
