Do you still have your period?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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