Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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