She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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