Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
