Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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