I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize