your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
