"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
