Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
