I will die if light touches me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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