I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize