Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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